In a world where the pressures of success and family expectations can feel like an endless cycle of 'gourd soup literature', some Chinese youth are finding solace in an unexpected place: virtual parents. These online personas, like Pan Huqian and Zhang Xiuping, have become a phenomenon on Douyin, offering a comforting presence to those feeling overwhelmed by the demands of real life. But what makes this trend particularly fascinating is the way it reflects a deeper reckoning among young people about parenting and the complexities of familial relationships in modern China.
A Different Kind of Family
For Vincent Zhang, a tech worker in Shanghai, these virtual parents are a welcome respite from the stress of his real-life family. The weekly calls with his actual parents, filled with criticism and questions about his career choices, often leave him feeling like his decisions are constantly under scrutiny. In contrast, his virtual parents provide a sense of warmth and understanding, offering words of encouragement and a reminder that his well-being matters.
"My parents are never the ones who tell me not to drive myself too hard or that I am already good enough," Vincent says. "But virtual parents will ask me whether I am happy today."
This sentiment is not unique to Vincent. Many young Chinese people are finding that these online figures provide a sense of connection and support, especially in a society where the pressure to succeed is intense. The virtual parents offer a safe space to share their struggles and find comfort in the idea of a supportive family, even if it's not blood-related.
A Reflection of Real-Life Struggles
The popularity of these virtual parents is no coincidence. It reflects a broader trend of young people questioning the traditional roles and expectations within their families. The economic boom that China has experienced has brought stability and prosperity, but it has also created a highly competitive environment, especially in the wake of the pandemic. Unemployment rates among the youth have been a concern for the government, and many are feeling the strain.
Zhao, a 28-year-old who prefers to remain anonymous, shares a similar experience. She grew up during a time of economic growth, but the pressure to excel academically and the expectations of her parents have left her feeling exhausted. The 'gourd soup literature' memes, which mock the common dynamic of parents over-involvement, resonate deeply with her.
"I did go to a therapist, but I gradually realized that crying wouldn't solve the problem," Zhao says. "My mom wouldn't change, so I could only change my own mindset, which is to treat them with the same attitude, as if it was a joke."
A Commercial Success Story
The success of these virtual parents extends beyond the emotional comfort they provide. Vincent notes that the trend has become commercially viable, with the creators potentially mass-producing content and signing deals with companies. This raises questions about the line between genuine support and a calculated business move, but for many, the warmth and advice offered by these virtual figures are a welcome distraction from the pressures of real life.
In a society where the traditional family structure is being challenged, these virtual parents offer a unique form of connection and support. They provide a safe space for young people to express their struggles and find comfort in a time of uncertainty. As the trend continues to grow, it will be interesting to see how it evolves and whether it becomes a more permanent fixture in the lives of those seeking a different kind of family.
